Swing My Pants

Conversations with locals in India tend to be very fragmented and often confusing. Despite the fact that nearly everyone has a grasp of English which puts my knowledge of Urdu in a shameful contrast there are huge gaps of understanding and I often use the Indian method of wobbling my head to pretend agreement with a deep and meaningful observation on the state of the world. Then pray that I am not expected to give a fuller reply.

So snippets are along the following lines.. My cabin boy as he was cleaning up the kitchen after our BBQ the other day asks if we have monkeys in Australia to which I replied no. He follows up with “They have dinosaurs don’t they?” My driver proudly tells me about his 5 year old son who he misses when he stays away with us as our assigned driver. Spontaneously tells me in the morning of our departure to Hyderabad “I am on holiday for 10 days – my son is having Muslim ….” A word he doesn’t have in English but illustrates with a cutting motion to his finger. Guessing what he meant I point to my groin and make slicing motion. Smiling he replies by pinching the skin on arm – “only skin”.

There was a wedding at the hotel we were staying over at Hyderabad and it looked like the full works on a large scale. The driver had to weave through the security gate dodging a steam of vehicles entering the hotel grounds so I commented “Its very busy tonight.” Stoping in mid sentence to swear as we sank about 6 feet under water into a pot hole we couldn’t see in the dark “Big wedding, 2200 guests, very important person.” Now I had a wedding with 80 people and thought that was stetching my ability to cope with numbers – but can you imagine that many guests. It was 9pm at night and they were still arriving – what sort of time does the 2200th person get his/her meal served and by that time have the other 2199 guests gone home already? There was a wedding band striking up almost every night in the officers quarters and the driver said “ Hindu wedding party, dancing, music”. I asked if he had the same at his wedding and he said – “Muslim, no dancing, music, just eating” hmmm know which I would prefer sounds very serious!!!

Anyway the good news is, if you haven’t already picked it up – is that I am on my home to my lover. Very Very excited and trying to make sure that I am rested properly cus there will be no sleep when I get home… Hey perve.. I am busy packing up to move to Brisbane remember! (whispered aside .. but between you and me I think the perve may be right).

So here I am sitting in the Singapore Airport business lounge able to tap away on the free wireless internet. Sorry if I sound smug – but I am. This journey would be very unpleasant travelling cattle class but the company pays for it and I just have to do as I’m told!

Only 12 hours and I will be home. Good wholesome food like a juicy steak is well up there on the list of things to crave – apart from the other. I am possibly one of the few people in the world who enjoys eating on a plane. So this move to budget travel which claims they have done away with food and drinks “For your convenience”!!! is an outrage and something I resent greatly as year by year the wonder and pleasure of travel is whittled away.

So honey here I come xx